Deviant Login Shop
 Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
About Literature / Hobbyist Member Carina NicoleFemale/United States Group :icongeneration-writers: Generation-Writers
 
Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 518 Deviations 2,010 Comments 5,052 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Prepare for your mind to be blown, kitten. You won't regret it.

Favourites

deviation in storage by v-espertine
it has been one year since i have spoken to her. one year that i haven't held her hand or laid next to her or kissed her forehead between class periods. it has been one year since she had caressed my scars and told me to get better for her. it has been one year since anyone has ever said they loved me in that sort of connotation--the serious type. it has been one year since her. one year since i realized how empty my life was without her in it, one year since i thought she was my Forever Person. my life has gotten better, sure, but it's still lacking one thing. her. she's not there even though she's omnipresent. i just want to hold her again. i want her to give me the butterflies again, both on my wrists and in my stomach. i want her back. and goddamnit, she'll never take me. she sees a monster. even after a year of contemplation, 365 days without me. she eliminated me like she was deleting a text message. it was that simple. it was like the time we spent together hadn't even existed even though i fucking loved that bitch more than anything. she has ruined me even a year beyond her departure. and not a day goes by that i don't feel sad for her and for myself, call it a pity party but i don't care. i had gone after others but they are all ending the same way, platonically ending friendships. i thought i had found another but she was just a smaller version of her. they're all variations but it's not the same. they're just nobodies. i don't want a nobody. i just on can't take this life without a Somebody anymore. i need a Somebody. i need hannah back. but lord knows and the world knows she never will, even though she knows how much i need her to. now it's year two. and the pain's just going to worsen from here.

deviantID

otakuplaywright's Profile Picture
otakuplaywright
Carina Nicole
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Okay. I know that no one reads these, so I'll keep this short and sweet. I'm a quirky bookworm with an obsession of poetry, indie music, and Broadway shows. I enjoy writing. A lot. Also: I have the dearest friends in the world, whom I love greatly and would die without.

I guess if you'd like to know more, you could follow me. *grin*
Interests

AdCast - Ads from the Community

×

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconangelichope:
angelichope Featured By Owner 4 days ago
Happy Birthday, Carina!!!:heart:
Reply
:iconinsanepacladyfriend:
InsanePacladyFriend Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2014
I MISS YOOOU </3
Reply
:iconotakuplaywright:
otakuplaywright Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
bby omg i miss you so much come to murrica.
Reply
:iconinsanepacladyfriend:
InsanePacladyFriend Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2014
oh bby gurl I miss you tooo and I really want to, come to London.
Reply
:iconotakuplaywright:
otakuplaywright Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
wish i could, i want to!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconbandgeek4evur:
bandgeek4evur Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Are you mad at me?
Reply
:iconotakuplaywright:
otakuplaywright Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
no, i'm not. i need to find someone who's going to love me more than she ever did. i still care a lot about her and wish her the best in life and everything, but i know that future isn't with me. i am not any part of it. it's just...she never gave me a chance to apologize. i guess it's because she wanted the last word. if that's her way of healing, i respect that. i can't change who she is, one of the reasons i loved her so much was her stubbornness. i think it's about time i gave up on that dream because it's obviously not a reality anymore. i really, really do wish it had ended differently. but in the end, i wouldn't have changed anything i did because it gave me the courage to move past this.
Reply
:iconbandgeek4evur:
bandgeek4evur Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
There's the Carina I know
Reply
:iconotakuplaywright:
otakuplaywright Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i need to be bigger than this. i'm stronger than my greatest faults. 
Reply
:iconbandgeek4evur:
bandgeek4evur Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Sweet mother of my chem.  Your tat looks awesome girl!
Reply
Add a Comment: